We think a lot about legacies at the holidays. You know, the traditions that we practice and expectations we have about them. Do you always put the tree up the day after Thanksgiving? Do you open presents Christmas Eve and Santa comes Christmas morning? Do you eat at noon on Thanksgiving ( Sharp) and your family anchor( mother, grandmother, aunt) is preparing and hosting? Those are all legacies that we leave for our next generation. Those are some of the things they observe us doing every single holiday season. The behaviors that make traditions over time become legacies. What about the other legacies we are leaving ? How many people have experienced holiday tension? Holiday dread even? For a lot of people holidays bring on a new level of stress. We have a tendency to place some pretty high expectations on how are holidays are supposed to go. Married and dating couples always want to be equal with their time at each side of the family. The host can set some pretty high expectations about the time and schedule of the dinner. New parents want the perfect holiday for their family. Then there are the empty chairs. Those damn empty chairs that the year before held someone you loved and now they are a screaming reminder that it “doesn’t feel right” without them there. How many people witness or are part of one at least one family disagreement during a holiday celebration? Was it over gravy? What time you left? How long you stayed? Yeah, that might have been the topic but probably wasn’t the cause. Holiday anxiety is real and people that have it often are difficult or snappy through holiday celebrations as opposed to laying out and talking about the real cause. Our kids-our next generation of parents and grandparents are watching us. They hear us. I hope if you have any kind of apprehension or dread about the holidays you find an outlet to help you say out loud what makes you feel that way. Own your feelings- it really is ok to say your scared, pissed, frustrated, mad or sad. Speak it and that starts he chain of getting to the other sides of it. Don’t make it ok to hold in something that pains you. No matter how far you think you push things, they come up in other ways. Leave a legacy of honesty. Leave a legacy of knowing it’s ok if everything isn’t ok. Leave a legacy of support💚
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